I need to ask myself a question I've been avoiding. Do I actually like playing games anymore? Or is it just habit?
I've been gaming my whole life. It's who I am. I've got a channel about it. But when I record a video — a reaction, a first play — I'm fully in it. Excited. Curious. That's not habit, that's alive. But when I sit down to play something with no camera on, no reason, just me and a game? More and more often, I'd rather do anything else.
Maybe it's not that I don't like games. Maybe it's that I don't like the returning part — the part where a game asks me to come back and finish it. The first three hours of a new game are the best hours in the world. The second three? Rarely.
Or maybe I don't like games anymore. Maybe I just like the person who plays them. The identity. The community. The habit. And the game itself is just what's in the room.
I don't know the answer yet. That's why I'm asking out loud. When did I last play a game for no reason, with no camera on? I genuinely can't remember. And that might be the answer.
If you've ever felt this — like the hobby that defined you is starting to feel like a habit — I'd genuinely like to know. Comment below.
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